Going to the grocery store with me used to be pure torture for my youngest daughter. It would take me FOREVER to make a decision about what to buy. I would stand in the isle trying to pick the item that would be most cost-efficient, healthiest, and easiest to prepare. My desire was to glorify and honor God in all I did including the use of my money. My problem was I attempted to do this all on my own. It would paralyze me! My daughter would finally have to say, "Okay, Mom, I’m going to count to five and when I get to five you JUST HAVE TO PICK ONE!"
Why was I struggling? I received Christ at the age of 9. Didn’t salvation offer me everything I need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3)? My issue was attempting to think and act like Jesus all on my own. This made every decision monumental because I had to choose like God! I didn’t want to disappoint Him but regardless of my efforts, I felt as if I was a constant disappointment.
Things began to change for me the day I realized I couldn’t bring glory and honor to God by myself. Actually, God never intended me to. What a relief it was to learn that since Christ was in me, He desired to live His life through me. Allowing Christ to live through me affords me the ability to rest in His goodness. It also brings tremendous freedom to know that even if I do make a "wrong" choice, He will work it out for my benefit, transforming me into the image of His Son (Romans 8:28-29). That’s what grace is all about–God working His ultimate good no matter what the circumstances.
So whether my choices are right or wrong, I can’t loose, because God is using them to teach me to trust Him and grow in my relationship with Him. Really my most important choice is between trusting Him or myself. And if I just have to pick one, I pick Him!